Negative creep.

It is not because I do not trust him or love him as much as I say I do.
What bothers me is that I will be replaced sooner or later.
I still ask myself why he even bothers to stay with me.
Which is completely and utterly funny considering he thinks the same.
I saw some candid pictures taken of me
I can honestly say that I am the ugliest girl I've ever seen.
Not only am I not attractive one bit, but I am huge.
I've never felt this gross in my entire life, and something has happened within this last week that makes me wonder if all the compliments, from no one in particular, are even true.
Seriously. Me = Disgusting.


(So, why is he with me? He can do better. Honestly.)




On to other news, it looks like we are totally moving out.
When? I still do not know.
I haven't been this excited about anything ever.
I do not want to think about the negative aspects of this, but really, what if it doesn't work out?
I'll be left out in the cold with no where to go.
I cannot come back to my parents.
I'll be too ashamed, or something.

95% of me, though, believes that this will definitely work out.
We've been through a whole lot of shit and we're stronger than ever...
I guess.. (I don't know.)
I just want to say this: I think I want to spend the rest of my life with him and that is the main reason why I am so afraid of doing this... attachments/rejections, they both suck.

*I keep falling deeper and deeper in love with this poor bastard, and it's freaking me the fuck out! I can't even tell him because I think it's too much. So much, it sickens me. Someone punch me. (I never thought I'd love someone this much again.)